TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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