I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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