i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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