I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
