The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
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it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
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A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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