I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
