but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
