do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
