I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
