seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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