I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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