I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize