Kiss
Puke
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
