Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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