But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
my being single is dangerous.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Sorry about my life...
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
