Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
