Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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