I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
