From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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