Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
