to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
