you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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