Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
