mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
