I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
