It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
