I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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