Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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