So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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