We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
