I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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