i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
