i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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