seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
