Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
