My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
