the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
