Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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