was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
