its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
