this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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