i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
