Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
