I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize