It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
