what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
