..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I need to stop coming to work sober
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
