when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
