so that wasnt chicken after all
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
