My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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