ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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