Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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