How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
