Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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