I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
